States With High Closing Costs

I received this in my e-mail today. Thought it was interesting:

10 States with Pricey Closing Costs Closing costs have risen an average of 36.6 percent compared to 2009, according to Bankrate.com’s annual survey.

The big increased was caused by the U.S. government requiring lenders to provide accurate good faith estimates of closing costs. Previously, lenders weren’t penalized for a bad estimate.

On average, the origination and third party fees on a $200,000 purchase mortgage added up to $3,741.

Here are the 10 highest states:
1. New York, $5,623
2. Texas, $4,708
3. Utah, $4,605
4. California-San Francisco, $4,566; California-Los Angeles, $4,406
5. Alaska, $4,327
6. Oklahoma, $4,254
7. Pennsylvania, $4,236
8. New Jersey, $4,110
9. Idaho, $4,077
10. Massachusetts, $4,025

The Top 10 Housing Markets of the Future

Pretty interesting to see where we're going...

Top 10 Housing Markets of the Future

40-Year Mortgage?

40-Year Mortgage is a Risky Move.

So, you can't build equity and your monthly payments are maybe $100 less. What's the point? To me, it seems like yet another way to scam buyers into taking out larger loans.

Don't Hold Your Breath

No bounce back in sight. Well, that's a bummer...

Don't Hold Your Breath

More tomorrow...it's be quite a week!

Go Hofstra?

Nice to see my old stomping ground is making good use of their space...

Hofstra Buildings Sold For Workforce Housing

I'm curious to see what type of uproar this causes. I happen to think making use of the vacant buildings is a great idea. However, I'd imagine the parents paying top dollar to send their kids to a private university will not be happy.

I'll Take The Million Dollar Home, With a Side of Fries.

In this crazy, roller coaster of a market, I think it's fair to say that, above all else, we want realistic clients. I'm coming to see more and more that just because someone has a pre-qual/pre-approval, doesn't mean they're realistic in their parameters. Money does not equate in wisdom. (Although, according to my last entry, it helps with happiness!) Now, we're all aware that I know, at best, nothing about Manhattan real estate. It's not my thing. Don't know it, don't like it. However, today, I finally realized that regardless of where someone is searching, they all have the same goal. We've all heard the new "hip" saying "I'm looking for a deal." I haven't spoken to a person in months who hasn't dropped the "d" word. Everyone is looking to pay significantly less for something that, at one point, was valued at significantly more. I think it's gotten to a point that people are done looking for a deal, and have now moved on to making up their own rules. Over the past month, I have heard some of the most preposterous real estate proposals. I fear that people have started to lose their minds.

I spoke to a guy a few days ago who, while very nice, was completely delusional. The conversation started off with the basics, "Where? How much? When? and why?" I was told "Manhattan, 450K, immediately, and for investment." The next series of questions "What part of Manhattan? Are you pre-qualified, or will this be a cash-purchase? Where do you live now? How large of a unit?" Here's where the trouble started. He wanted (well, I should say "wants") a 1bdr condo for 450K and a 10% down payment. On top of that, he hadn't yet consulted with a mortgage broker. Here's the problem, the one building that fits that price point (yes, there is one building in all of Manhattan...so I was told today), does not sublet. Meaning, he could purchase it, but then what? Now, I'm a fairly blunt person. When something doesn't sit right with me, I have no problem saying it. I basically told this man that it wasn't going to happen. However, because I have a few agents who owe me favors, I would humor him and have one get in touch with him. (Or, I said "your search doesn't quite add up, but I'd be more than happy to have one of my agents speak further with you"...whatever). My point is (I know you were waiting), there is nothing wrong with educating a buyer. In fact, I recommend it. However, if you see that someone is spinning their wheels and, in turn, spinning yours, put them on the back burner. I've seen far too many agents waste their time in the past few months. These buyers/sellers/investors give a whole new meaning to the term "testers." They test our patience, and most of all, they test our expertise.

The moral: Be blunt. Though we're trained to beat around the bush and not offend, in this market, that doesn't fly. If it doesn't exist, tell them. If their money won't buy them a 5bdr house on an acre, show them. Utilize the information you have to prove that you are the expert. Sadly, in real estate, the customer is usually not right.

Money Vs. Happiness

I spent a lot of today thinking about Money vs. Happiness. It stemmed from a phone conversation I had with a guy who will be starting Law School in the fall. When I asked him if he was excited, and what kind of law he'd be studying, he said "Who cares? I'm in it for the money." I think it goes without saying that the ideal situation is to work in a profession that offers both happiness and financial reward. What about those of us who aren't fortunate enough to be in that situation, though? I am lucky enough now to be on the path of achieving a nice balance between the two. However, for a long time I wasn't. I always vowed to myself that happiness would trump all else, and I'd never be the type of person who takes a job just to get a paycheck. As we all do though, I grew up and got a reality check. I've come to find that without financial independence, it is hard to be truly happy (clearly, this doesn't apply to all of your heiresses out there. You know, because Paris Hilton is sitting home reading my blog...) I grew up in an upper-middle class town on Long Island, and never needed for anything. I grew accustomed to a certain lifestyle. My whole life, my parents reminded me that my expensive tastes and likes would someday have to be supported by me. That led me to start working at 13. Was it the financial independence that drove me? The idea of freedom? Or, was I scared to live my life based solely on happiness? Let's face it, if I was basing my career choices on happiness, there would be a lot more sleeping and a lot less working. The age old question still remains, though. Does money actually equate in happiness? Or, can our happiness be enough to get us through life?

To be honest, I'm torn. On some level, I'd like to think that I'm down-to-earth enough to not need excessive amounts of money. Money, on that level of my thinking, should be a want. There's the other part of me though, that equates money with freedom. In the real estate world, most of us base our successes on numbers - How many houses did we sell? How much did we gross for our companies? How much did we pocket?- -It's hard not to. While it may be an emotionally satisfying profession on many levels, the ultimate goal is a hug goodbye and a check. In real estate, it's pretty straight forward that if you're not doing any deals, you're not successful. Then again, who knows? Maybe you're just happy to have your real estate license? What is success, though? I'm not going to get all philosophical on you, but isn't it fair to say that if you're happy with your success, you're "successful?" The first time I met my first manager in my first office, he asked me "How many deals do you need to complete this year to make you feel like a success?" I gave him my answer (4...it's my favorite number, and I was 20 years old), and he then explained that he'd be happy with any number, as long as I achieved it. Success is ultimately measured in achieving the goals you set for yourself. On that level, I find happiness to be more important than money. That being said, had I not achieved my goal and not reaped the financial rewards of it, I would feel quite the opposite.

While writing this, I think I've answered my own question. If you're unhappy with a job, chances are, you're not being a very effective worker. We do the best at the things we enjoy. If you're being ineffective, you're not making money. Therefore, happiness is not only more important than money, but is directly correlated. Though I do think money is important, I am a strong proponent of weighing your options. There is no such thing as being "stuck." I've had friends/co-workers/family describe their lives with this term before, and I just don't believe it. We, as human beings, have the power to constantly reinvent ourselves. "Stuck," is not an option.

The moral: Measure your success in your level of satisfaction. Be it financially or emotionally driven, your personal satisfaction is what will ultimately make or break you.

Monster Calls.

As you've probably figured out by now, I'm in the business of psychotherapy. (Minus the pills, the degree, or slightest knowledge of psychological studies. Although, there was that one semester in college...) Really, most of the people I talk to for business are insane. Yet, I'm still shocked by the level of comfort people have when it comes to ripping apart a total stranger. Now, I'm not a solicitor. I call you based on your request for contact. (Cold calls were never really my thing.) Still though, more often than not, I reach people who act like I killed their first born when I call them. (Really, the "how dare you's" are a touch dramatic, don't you think?) What is it, though? What is it about a stranger on the other end of the phone that makes us snap? Is it the unknown of what they want? Is our time really too precious to exchange quick pleasantries with a stranger? Have we lost our fear of that bitch called karma?

Given my job, one would think I'd be less nasty and more forgiving to a cold caller. I'm not. One would also think I have a heart of gold, and let telemarketers finish what they have to say. I don't. I can't explain it, but something starts to rile me up the second I see an unfamiliar phone number on the Caller ID. This laid back, passive-aggressive girl (well, sometimes) turns into a two-headed demon. There is no rhyme or reason behind it (I don't think. That's what I'm trying to figure out), I just snap. Why are we, as humans, totally comfortable being confrontational, honest and abrupt to a stranger? Yet, in our personal lives, we maintain a balance between truth and politeness. I understand the comfort in anonymity, but this is a bit excessive.

Recently, I got a new phone number (no, you can't have it). Because I thought the days of carpet cleaners and newspaper companies calling your house at 2am (due, of course, to Al Gore's invention of the internet) were long-gone, I didn't even think to block my number right away. Bad move. Within the first three days of having said, new number, I had 46 missed calls. Now I'm barely ever home, so the chances of me catching these "people" in the act was slim to none. Every day I'd come home to a bevy of missed calls from Missouri, Minnesota and Newsday. None of which I have any interest in. This past week, while watching The Real Housewives Of New Jersey, I caught one. Missouri. Now, I had no intention of screaming or yelling. My plan was to simply say "I'm not interested." My plan was a huge failure. I ended up telling him off. I was possessed. As soon as I hung up the phone, I had a "what the hell?" moment. This poor guy wasn't calling to ruin my life, or even really calling to bother me. He was just doing his job. Annoying? Yes. Worthy of a verbal beating? No. When relaying this story to my friends, I was told that I did the right thing (Keep in mind, I included the verbatim rant I went on when I told them) No one seemed to have a problem with it. Scary,right? (You know you're from New York when...) Ultimately, I decided I can't handle solicitors with the dignity and poise I hoped I could and signed up for the "do not call" list.

So, where am I going with this? How is this going to help you better-understand real estate? Well, real estate's a people business. It boils down to this, everyone is a stranger, until they're not (how profound, right?). You're a stranger to your customers until they feel comfortable around you. And customers, you're strangers to agents until they have your loyalty. My point (I knew I'd get here, eventually) is that in this very small world, we have to make a conscious effort to treat people well. You never know who you're speaking with (especially over the phone), and you never know how that person will impact you later on. I know (well, I hope) for most of you this isn't something new. We are well-trained in our business to always put our best foot forward, but do we carry it further? I'm saying we should constantly be looking over our shoulders, and biting our tongues even when we're alone, at home, yelling at telemarketers.

Section Hate.

What is one of the most difficult, frustrating real estate transactions out there? No, not short sales. I'm talking about Section 8 rentals. I can't even believe the overwhelming amount of Section 8 inquiries I'm seeing, lately. For those of you who don't know, Section 8 is a government program set up to help house low-income families. Basically, Section 8 gives you a budget and housing requirements, (I.e. Number of bedrooms to occupant ratio..) and then you find the property. If you use a real estate agent in the transaction, Section 8 is supposed to pay the broker fee. Before the tenant can move in, a caseworker will come to inspect the property. Due to the disdain and avoidance from real estate agents for these types of rentals, New York State has created a law saying that we, as agents, cannot refuse to work with Section 8 clients. Additionally, a landlord can only advertise if they accept government programs, not the opposite. On a personal note, I've had nothing but negative experiences with Section 8. They lack respect for both the broker and the client. More so, the broker. I think governmental housing programs are a fantastic concept. However, they lack (at least I've found) the necessary organization to carry out a successful real estate transaction.

Two years ago, I took on a Section 8-approved client. I thought, "Wow, this is great. They have a government-determined budget and can only have a certain type of house. Plus, the government is paying me. What could possibly go wrong?!" The answer? Everything. Everything possible went wrong. I showed the client a million homes in a million different areas for months.(At the time, landlords could say that they didn't accept programs, so the houses that did accept programs were few and far between). They ended up taking a house on the South Shore of Nassau County. The inspection went well, the house was nice and we seemed to be on our way to a goodbye and a check. Little did I know, the matriarch of the family not only half-asked her paper work, she was pregnant with her fifth child. Meaning, the housing requirements would change. Section 8 determined the house met their needs anyway, and allowed them to proceed. Leases were signed, tenants moved in, landlord moved out (so we thought), and on we went. After a week of not getting a check on what should have been an easy deal, I started to question what was going on. The other agent and I became friendly enough during the transaction and were both concerned about our fees. She called the caseworker to find out what was going on. Nonchalantly, the woman told her that the proper paperwork had yet to be submitted from the tenant and payment would be held until then. I was baffled. So, the tenant had already moved in, yet her paperwork was incomplete? Weeks went by, then two months and still, no check. In this business, it's important to know when to cut your losses. I had enough. The $800 wasn't going to make or break my year. After losing hope and giving up, I received a phone call from the tenant. She said that the house wasn't suitable, the landlord was verbally abusing them, and had yet to fully move out. I basically told her it wasn't my problem. While I felt for her, (really, I did...) I don't work for free. I told her that I'd help her if she submitted her paperwork that day and I had a check in my hand from Section 8 the following week. Apparently, things weren't that bad. Not only did I never hear from her again, I still haven't received payment for my completed transaction. Here's the kicker: Out of sheer curiosity, I drove by the house about three months ago to see if they were still living there rent free. At this point, I'm sure you're not shocked to find out that they were.

The moral: Well, I guess there's two. The first, as I said, know when to cut your losses. Not everything is worth a battle. The other agent wanted to take them to small claims court. To me, that would have been a huge waste of time and effort. Don't get me wrong, I was pissed. I ran these people around like I was selling them a $3,000,000 home, but it just wasn't worth the energy. And second, know who you're getting involved with. I think it's unethical to not allow real estate agents the right to refuse Section 8 clients. As independent contractors, we should have the right to refuse working with anyone. Ethics go both ways. We're not volunteers, we need to get paid. As much as I enjoy real estate, I'm not doing it for my health (maybe my health insurance, but not my health). For most of us, real estate is our career. I will hold your hand and your child all through the process, but at the end of it, I need to be paid. Am I saying avoid Section 8 deals like the plague? No. I'm just saying to watch your back in any situation. No one cares about your payment except for YOU. Take care of yourself, and know what you're getting into.

Chump Change.

Well, we all know what the biggest topic of today is: The First-Timer Buyer Tax Credit. I've heard a million different versions of what's going on, all of which have yet to be confirmed. As far as I know, (and keep in mind, I'm mid-transit so I might be about an hour out of the loop) they are most likely extending the credit until September.

I have to admit, I'm actually little annoyed at the moment by a conversation I had with someone who feels that the First-Time Buyer Tax Credit was, and will continue to be, a huge waste of time. They called the credit "excessive" and "ineffective." Naturally, I asked "What business do you work in?" They said "real estate." They then asked me if I really think that the tax credit had that big of an impact on business.(A little piece of me wanted to smack him. I refrained.) Wake up, People! That tax credit drove almost all of our business this past year! Without that $8,000 worth of buyer-courage, we'd be twiddling our thumbs and looking for supplementary income. I can't even begin to tell you how many people I had spoken to from summer of '09 until April who's motivation to buy was solely credit-driven. In short, I'm a fan of the tax credit.

We then spoke about the possibility of another extension, or another credit being offered. Again, big fan. Buying your first house is horrifying, and it's nice to know that you have the encouragement of your country to move forward with such a huge decision. I do agree that if you're buying a home, $8,000 shouldn't make or break you.(That was another one of their arguments) It's not the amount though, it's the principle. Because people are so scared to buy and spend their money, they take comfort in knowing the people running this country are not just saying "go ahead, it's okay," but are offering financial rewards for helping stimulate the economy. Lately, business on my end has been slow. As I've said before, there are a lot of window-shoppers. Everyone's looking, but not too many people are ready to pull the trigger. However, the agents I work with are super busy because, as most of them will tell you, they're finishing up the last of their tax credit-buyer's transactions. It's fairly obvious from my end of this business that another tax credit similar or the same to the previous one, would continue to stimulate sales. Otherwise, I feel a lot of people will continue to wait for what's next. Most people are at a standstill because the market is so finicky. Whatever direction the market goes, directly effects the amount of sales actually happening. If the government were to re-encourage first-time buyers to buy, the market would naturally pick back up.

Because majority of first-time buyers are buying in the 300K to 500K range, we should re-stimulate them now. We have such an overwhelming amount of inventory in that price range (especially on Long Island), that it could only benefit us to have more qualified (this is key) people out there searching within that price point. It's basic logic, People. Qualified Buyers + Abundance of Inventory = Increase in Sales. If you're going from a market where everyone is just poking around and unqualified (i.e. now) to a market where finances are in order and there's a nation-wide deadline, sales have to pick up.

There is no great moral to this, My Friends. It is not my job to sway the opinions you are entitled to have. All I can say is that I, personally, think the tax credit is one of the best governmental ideas this administration has had so far. I'd love to know what other people think about it, as there really seems to be great divide amongst my colleagues. I understand why someone would say we're giving away money, but it goes along with the logic of spending money to make money. This economy will not reboot itself. It's not an iPod. If we do not make the appropriate efforts to fix what we've essentially created, we will find ourselves in much deeper water than we're in now.

We Salute You, Mr. President.

Just a quick link to peruse while sipping your morning coffee!

Presidential Homes Hit By Housing Crash

Faux-tography?

This article was just sent to me. It's amazing what some good lighting can do!

Faux-tography

Buyer Beware.

In today's world of corporations ripping off their loyal customers to support their own "yacht club lifestyles," it's hard to ignore a consumer-fueled resource like Craig's List. For those of you who don't know what Craig's List is, (and really, if you don't know, pop your bubble and explore the world a little bit) it's a web site in which anyone can post any service/product they have to offer. Services offered on the site range from car sales, to job applications, to real estate, to sex solicitation. Really, anything. While there is some regulation of what can/cannot be posted, it's minimal at best. I can see why some would argue that Craig's List is "creepy," and "unsafe." I don't disagree. I mean, given the amount of scandal associated with the web site I can't disagree. However, I'm a strong proponent of people bartering on their own behalf's and being in full control of their negotiations (How strange given my profession, right?). It's your money, and you should be able to do with it what you please. I, personally, have rented an apartment via Craig's List. However, I'm a licensed agent. If you lack the knowledge of what you're trying to buy/sell, it's imperative that you enlist the help of a professional. I say this from the overwhelming experience of speaking with hundreds (seriously) of people who have tried to buy/rent a home via a self-bartering web site, and have gotten royally screwed. I get at least two phone calls per day from someone asking me if a Craig's List post is a "real" listing. 99.9% of the time , it's not. You know the saying "If it's too good to be true, it's probably not true?" Well, apply that here. If you think you found a 3bdr/3bath on Park Ave for $1,900 per month, sadly, you thought wrong.

This topic has been brewing in my head for some time, but after a really over the top experience I had today, I felt compelled to impart some knowledge on all of you. I spoke to a woman this afternoon who was asking me about a property that she was already "renting." I sarcastically use the term renting because she paid two years up front, and hasn't been allowed in the home yet. She told me the lease has (according to her "landlord") been on the kitchen counter inside the house for three months, but they haven't been able to get into the property because of an "alarm code issue." Believe me when I tell you, I know this sounds ridiculous and I almost hung up on her. After some poking and prodding, she told me that the landlord lives in Dubai, she lives in England, the property is in The Hamptons, and they found the property online. She also told me that they mailed the required monies directly to the landlord and do not know his full name. At this point, I wasn't sure what was going on, but I knew that someone had taken advantage of her. Naturally, my next question was regarding the amount of money that actually changed hands. She said, "$5,000,000." I almost choked on my gum. Even I, having a lot of real estate fraud experience, couldn't believe what I was hearing. I triple-checked that I had the amount right, tried to rationalize why someone would send that amount of money to stranger, and then decided to continue listening to her. She casually stated that the rental equaled 2.5 Million per year. It was supposedly a fully-furnished home, filled with amenities such as a personal chef, and maid staff. Out of a combination of curiosity, horror and pity, I pulled up the property's public record. Now, public records can sometimes be wrong, but the assessed property value is usually within a certain range from the actual market value. Meaning, it's relatively accurate. The house they were "renting" was most recently assessed for a sales value of $780,000. Also, there were no records of real estate transactions (buying, selling or renting) since 2006. At this point, I let her know my findings, but sadly couldn't do much else. Yes People, this ridiculous story actually happened. I know you're probably thinking "Well, that person's an idiot." Think about it though, they're not from the U.S., and have no real estate experience. They are the ultimate easy-target. While I personally don't spend over $50 without knowing exactly where it's going, I can't speak for other people. Sadly, things like this happen all the time. Just three days ago, I spoke to a college-aged student who was hoping to rent an apartment in Manhattan. After already sending her out-of-country landlord money and giving out her social security number, she called me. Again, the property didn't exist, and there was nothing I could do. Obviously, this situation is more common than the aforementioned one. Regardless, people are being played left and right.

Here are three signs that, I've come to find, point to a listing being a scam:

1. The first tell-tale sign of a fake listing is the price. If nothing else you've seen in the area is comparable price-wise, you need to question A. Is it "real?" and B. If it is real, what's wrong with it? A great web site to check out to find out more pricing info is streeteasy.com. I have access to every system out there, and I use streeteasy more than anything else. Granted, it has mostly Manhattan listings, but it's still a great resource that could end up saving you a ton of money. If you're on Long Island, I would highly recommend checking out MLSLI.com.

2. Another common theme in these bogus listings are foreign landlords. I'm not sure why, but almost all of these issues I've dealt with have had an international landlord attached to them. The most common are Dubai, and England. My guess, is that they're less traceable.

3. If you are immediately asked for your social security number, run. They do not need it. Unless you are working with a real estate agent, there is no reason to give out your personal identification number. A real estate agent would obviously use your social to run credit, but if an agent isn't involved, you should run the credit yourself. There are many web sites that do it for free, the most popular being freecreditreport.com (You know, the one with those annoying commercials). You will be able to produce the standard credit report on your own, while maintaining your privacy.


The moral of this is plain and simple: Buyer Beware. If you are going to enter into a deal on your own, make sure you've successfully covered your behind. If you don't, you have no one to blame but yourself. I'd also highly recommend having a lawyer involved. If you're unwilling to work with a real estate professional, at least have some type of legal representation backing you in case something goes wrong - and believe me, something will go wrong.

You Want A Foreclosure? I'll Give You A Foreclosure!

Out of sheer curiousity, I googled "best cities to buy a foreclosed home." Aside from hundreds on hundreds of results popping up, I actually found some interesting/informative articles (You see what I do for your people? I spend my day searching the internet.) This one really caught my eye. I like that on top of listing the cities, they provide the "non-foreclosure median price" and the "foreclosure median price." I've never seen it laid out that way, and found it very helpful to have a basis for comparison. Enjoy!

The Best U.S. Cities to Buy a Foreclosed Home.

Fair is Fair, Right?

Over the past two weeks, I've heard at least five people say some variation of the sentence "That's not P.C." Now believe me, I'm the first person to say everyone should be treated equally, and that everyone deserves equal rights, but are we going too far? Even sitting here writing down my personal thoughts on this issue (I know this is a public forum, but you get me when I say "personal"...right?), I have a pit in my stomach which I guarantee will be there until I feel I've successfully conveyed this idea without offending anyone. (How's that for a mission?) I feel like we're at a point, especially in the real estate business, that anything that comes out of anyone's mouth can be turned into some type of debate on political correctness. I understand the idea of staying neutral and not out-right voicing your political/personal opinions in business, but I never understood the logic in denying facts (ie. factual information on school statistics and population). I never felt it was necessary to tell people to "drive around an area" or to visit the local school web site. This is information that is the most important to a lot of people's searches. If I have the knowledge, why shouldn't I be able to share it in a tactful and "PC" way? I'm supposed to be the expert. Of course, I understand why things like steering and red-lining are illegal. It is certainly not our job to push someone into an area based on race/gender/sexual orientation, and our perceived opinion of said area. I also understand that it's not our job to say "Hey Jewish Person, this is a great Jewish area!" That's not what I'm talking about. Here's where "the line" gets blurred for me. (*please note, I ALWAYS follow the Fair Housing laws. These are just my opinions. So, all of you die-hard-everything-must-be-by-the-book people out there, calm down). The issue I have is that I really don't see a huge problem in telling a client what is considered a certain "type" of area if they ask (Key words: IF THEY ASK). If someone says "Oh, that's a predominately Catholic area, right?" and I know that it is, in fact, considered a predominately Catholic area, I think it's a bit excessive to say "by accordance with New York State law, I really can't disclose that information. Here are some great web sites." Why can't I say "From what I understand, yes." I'm not saying "Yes, 150%. If you're catholic, this is the place for you!" I'm merely informing my client that I've heard the area is predominately catholic. I think at that point, you should offer the suggestion of further investigating via the internet/local information sources. I don't think there's any need for you to be the one to elaborate on the issue, but I see no reason not at least be truthful and informative in a tactful way. To me, it's comparable to saying "what's that person like?" and you saying "I've heard she's very nice." It's merely an opinion that has gained some factual standing by means of consistency in other people's opinions. Could someone easily find out that information on their own? Sure. But again, we're supposed to be the experts! In the interest of saving time, and not pissing off your customer, why not just answer the damn question to the best of your knowledge? Real Estate is local, and I feel it's unfair to our clients to not answer questions we clearly have the answers to. I am by no means saying that I'm okay with a licensed real estate professional imparting their personal views on their clients. It is never okay for you to suggest an area based on a person's color, religion, or any other "defining characteristics." That's not your place. I just feel (again, I FEEL this way. I don't DO this. I respect my profession way too much to ever risk breaking a rule) that if we're asked about an area, we should be able to say "It's a great family area." I guess my issue is more along the line of at what point have we stifled ourselves too much? Believe me, I know these laws are out there solely to cover our own behinds, but I'm just questioning the excessive nature of it all.

This past week, I spoke to two buyers with two very different requests. However, due to the "law," I had to field said requests with the same type of vague answers/response questions. The first person I spoke to was explaining their search and told me they don't want to be in, and I quote "any minority neighborhoods." When I responded with "What areas would you like to be in?" They told me "One with no black people." (Nice, right? A side note to all of the buyers/sellers out there, we will never laugh with about racial issues. We think it's disgusting. Real estate professionals, for the most part, are open-minded, equal opportunity-seeking, people). On a lighter note, the second potential buyer told me that they wanted to be in a "great family area, with a great school district." My response "there are some great web sites to help you determine where you might want to be. I'd be more than happy to send them your way" I have no problem saying that to a buyer, but what is unfathomable to me, is that those two requests are supposed to be answered in the same type of way. Can we not allow ourselves for a minute to see the absurdity in this? A blatant racially-driven request should not have to be treated the same way as an innocent one. Now, I know some will say "well, that's a matter of opinion." Yes, you're right. That's my opinion. The "meat and potatoes" of what I do is "matching" a client with the best agent for their needs. If I know someone is family-oriented and interested in school districts, I will match them with someone similar. Is that going against Fair Housing laws, too? When do we take a step back and consider the idea that being politically correct (or, what we've all been taught is politically correct) has gone a little too far? If I can't facilitate a buyer by offering the knowledge I have of my market place, what good am I?

Do you know that casting directors can't request a certain race for any particular role. The example I was given when I learned this is, if Spike Lee were directing Malcolm X, he legally cannot request a black actor for the title role (for all of those who don't know who Malcolm X is, click the link. You'll soon understand the insanity in this). I'm sure some will argue that this is the right thing to do. I, however, just don't see it. Now, this is hardly related to real estate and the issues we deal with on a day to day basis, but it goes along with the idea that we're all slowly and surely becoming extremists. Are we going to stop asking people for financial statements at risk of offending someone that may have lost their job during these hard economic times? Really, People, where does it end?

Sadly, there is no great moral today (Grab a tissue, you'll be okay). There doesn't seem to be an end in sight, or any type of concrete answer, for that matter. Needless to say, (but I will anyway) this is a tricky issue, and it's sometimes easier to just follow the rules blindly instead of getting ourselves in trouble. We all come from different backgrounds, and no one's story is the same. This is why I think it's so hard to come up with a moral code for so many variations of people. We all have different opinions of what's right and what's wrong, and different knowledge to offer. I think the Fair Housing laws are really the only way to fully protect ourselves, but I guess I'm just saddened that they have to be drilled into our heads and that because of past mistakes, we're no longer trusted to make tactful decisions. Because of our inability to see "people" over anything else (be it, color/gender..whatever else you may see), we are now being boxed into a strict code of morals that don't allow for situational blunders. So I ask you this: If our code of ethics was no longer in place, would our professional standards fall apart?

Stop! Collaborate, and Listen.

Something that's really been driving me crazy lately, (I feel like Bill Maher...nothing like a "rant," and some good ole' fashioned finger-pointing) are buyers who low-ball, and sellers who over-price in this market. Plain and simple, it's the wrong time for that! Gone are the days of printing out your listings, throwing them over your shoulder, and whichever ones hit the ground created a bidding war. (Get it, what goes up, must come down. They all hit the ground...No? Eh, can't win 'em all) We're in, what I like to call, a "Happy Medium Market." Meaning, we all need to compromise. I think we can all agree that in the current state of our respective markets (Remember, we have one economy, but millions of markets. My business in Merrick, isn't the same as yours in Rocky Point), we are truly trying to encourage our sellers to list as close to true market value as possible and trying to educate our buyers that that's what (most of) our sellers are doing. Is it not fair to say that right now, if you don't have to sell, you probably shouldn't? That, or you own your house out-right, and because you bought it in 1940 for $12, are going to make a profit regardless of the current market prices. I'm sure some will argue that it's all relative. While you may not gross millions on your house, you'll end up getting a "good deal" on the purchasing end; All well and good. I don't necessarily disagree with that logic. What I do disagree with, is the idea of listing your house at a "cross your fingers and hope price," and then expecting to sell quick to take advantage of the buyer's market. It's selfish, and you're wasting everyone's time. What's the number one reason buyers feel they can get "deals" right now? Inventory. By us holding on to listings just for the sake of having a listing, we are adding to the problem. The reason prices keep dropping (and according to Jonathan Miller of Miller-Samuel, the only reliable source as far I know, they're going to drop an additional 10%-15%), is because we A. Keep adding on listings (which if you know you can sell it, good for you. Otherwise, spare us.) B. We're in a short sale/foreclosure-driven market, and C. Every time a bigger and better house comes on, we have to drop our prices to stay above water at all. You may have a million listings, but how many can you actually sell?

I had a woman call in about three weeks ago who was looking to list her house in The Hamptons. The house most recently appraised for around 1.3Mil. Our conversation went well, I had one of my agents go over to view her home, and she agreed to sign the exclusive. Yay for us, right? Wrong. As it turns out, she owed significantly more on the house than it's worth (How many times have you heard that in the past year?). She wanted to price it around 1.8MIl, and quite frankly, it would never sell. In situations like this, I urge my agent to walk away. We politely bowed out, and (I thought) moved on. I received an e-mail today saying "Great news! I think we may still have the listing." My first thought was "Great, they've figured out their finances and can list at market value." So, I respond to the e-mail inquiring further on price/terms etc. only to find out that we're still at 1.8Mil. I had to catch a train (yes, I commute everyday. You're welcome, Long Island), so this issue is yet to be resolved. That being said, first thing tomorrow morning she will once again be encouraged to walk away.

I want to be part of the solution, People. Not the problem. Just as I urge the people (buyers/sellers/agents) I work with, I'm urging you - Stop the madness! Take a minute to really look at what's going on around you. Why would you list a home, market it, show it and know you ultimately, can't sell it? On the other end, why would you encourage a buyer to make an offer that you know won't be accepted, or at least negotiated? Think about it, the economy is driven by the real estate market. We, as agents/brokers/consultants/managers are directly linked to the happenings of our economic world. Why would you want to do anything to A. Drive sales down, and B. Make yourself look like you're not an expert? Our clients, for the most part, are at a stand still. They have no idea which way is up. While they may be internet savvy and can tell you the address of every house currently for sale, and the minimum commission of every company, they truly don't know market values. How can they? They may know what their neighbor's house sold for, but as we all know, their neighbor's house has an extra bedroom, permits for a pool in place and a better-manicured lawn. The one thing our clients still don't have (and hopefully never will) is the knowledge to produce accurate comparable. Any good agent knows, "comps" are the key to success on both the selling and buying side of your business. How many of you pull up comps of surrounding homes when your buyer's getting ready to make an offer? I'd venture to guess, most of you don't. Why not, though? How can you truly assess what a reasonable offer is, without know the "sold" market around you?

The moral: ( So sad. Time to stop. I write my blogs on the train, People. Once the train hits the station, you lose me 'til tomorrow.) Don't be selfish! What a ridiculous notion. You've been told since birth to share and not be greedy. If you've never implemented these basic actions into your every day life, now's the time to start. Better yet, be selfish. Only take on clients you know you can make money off of. (See what I did there? I taught all of you selfish people a way to appear not selfish. You're welcome.) Really though, wouldn't you rather actually close deals than have the "privilege" of saying you have 214 listings? You can't buy shoes with a listing, and I'm a girl who loves me some shoes.

It's Not You, It's Me.

I've found myself thinking a lot lately about What I can change vs. What I can't change in my life. You can't change your family. They will haunt you no matter how far-removed you are. Biologically, you're linked to them by blood despite how many times you change your phone number. You can't change your past. What's done is done. If you're alive, good for you. That means you've survived, so far. Most importantly, you can't change other people. This is something I think most of us struggle with all of our lives. Whether we're trying to change our partners, our friends or our family, we are always unhappy with something about someone. On a personal note, I'm currently faced with a situation in which I wish more than anything, that the person I'm at odds with will change. I struggle on a daily basis to think of ways to help them understand that it's not me, it's them. After months of deliberating and plotting, I've finally come to understand that it is, in fact, me. Let's talk cheesy for a second, okay? You know that ridiculous saying "Be the change you want to see in the world?" Well, I think, like most cliches, there's something to it. I can't make anyone do anything, and I certainly don't possess the ability to make someone change who they are for my benefit. (If you have this ability, please call me. Boy, do I have a project for you!) I am only in control of myself.

I'm going to give an example of my current adversity, while trying to maintain anonymity throughout (Good luck to me, right?) I received an e-mail last week with some not-so-kind words. This e-mail was between myself and two other people. Being the semi-cut throat person that I am, my initial reaction was to respond in the same tone in which the first e-mail was sent. After typing up my response, and reading it through, I started to get butterflies in my stomach out of nerves as to what the response back would be (My bark is usually worse than my bite). I took a step back, and took a minute to think out the few scenarios that could play out by me sending my nasty response. The best case scenario is that the person who sent the initial e-mail would feel like an idiot, and fear me. We all love a good power trip. The worst, I would be stuck in a back and forth, World War III-esq e-mail battle for the next few hours. I thought to myself, if the best and worst case scenarios are equally as crappy, who's winning? And, even further, why does someone always feel the need to win? In life, we're driven to end up on the top of any argument we face. I ask you though, at who's expense? We may not care what out "opponent" feels like at the end of the day, but if it affects how we feel, something in us needs to change. For the first time in a long time, I kept my mouth shut. I let the situation play out on its own and didn't provoke/support/oppose any side. Guess what? I went home battle scar-free.

I've had the honor of working with some really amazing people in my career so far, and I can tell you, the most successful ones know what not to say and when not to say it. I admit, I have not yet fully mastered this skill. It is in my nature to be on the defense. As I get older and grow more successful in my business, I'm starting to understand that not everything needs to turn into an issue. Someone does something you don't like? You find someone or something offensive? Let it go. As my mother always says (seriously, if I didn't know better, I would say she invented this oh-so-common saying) "what goes around comes around." Translation, they'll get theirs. Wouldn't you prefer to "win" at the hands of the universe spitting on your opponent, as opposed to you fighting an uphill battle that's most likely just prolonging the inevitable?

The moral: Ah yes, my wise words of wisdom are coming to an end for the day. I've got people to see, food to eat, and TV to watch. Right, the moral...Pick your battles. I don't want anyone to think I'm saying to let everything go, because I myself am incapable of doing that. If someone gets in your way, and your new-found attitude of passivity isn't working, by all means - knock them down. However, if you take a minute during an argument to say to yourself "Jess, don't send that e-mail," you might find that you saved yourself from some heartache. Everyone just wants to be happy (well, I know I do). If you can change something in yourself to further increase the amount of times a day you're able to truly smile, why wouldn't you?

It's a Woman's World

Did you know that more than 60% of accredited REALTORS are women? From a business that started out like most other businesses, male-dominated, real estate has turned into this great professional for women to be in charge. Why is that, though? What is it about the real estate business that A. Makes a woman (in my opinion) a bit more savvy? and B. Makes our clients more inclined to work with a female? Now, I'm not saying there aren't great male agents, because believe me, I work with some brilliant men. I'm merely questioning what it is about real estate that lends itself so nicely to a woman's nature. Today, I'm sitting in a continuing education class (even if you're the best real estate professional in the world, always continue to learn. I promise, there are things you don't know) and majority of the class is women. Could the abundance of women have something to do with the fact that women are, by nature, more nurturing and understanding? Or, perhaps viewed as more sociable? I think so. Now again, I'm not saying men don't possess the ability to be both nurturing and sociable, but I do truly believe it comes a bit easier to women. It's the whole child-bearing thing, we're bred to be hand-holders. That being said, not everyone needs/wants a "hand-holder," but it goes back to the idea of actually liking who you work with. Unless you're an investor, real estate is (as previously mentioned) an emotionally-driven business.

I can't even begin to count (numbers aren't my thing) how many times I've had someone I'm speaking with request a female agent. I have to admit, when a man requests a female agent, I always feel inclined to ask why (there have been one too many crimes against female real estate agents not to). The answer that 99.9% of people give me (again, investors aside. Most investors prefer men. I think it has something to do with the bond they develop over the actual architecture of a building. Something I, as a woman, have no interest in) is comfort. They think a woman will take the time to truly listen to what they need as opposed to showing them things that don't fit their requirements. Also, men (and women, too...but you knew that already) have told me that because real estate can be so emotional, they feel they will be able to let their guard down more with a female agent. The other .01% openly admit to the prospect of getting a date, but what can you do?

So what does this mean for the men out there who don't possess the qualities to put people at ease? Get a sex change, or take estrogen? No. C'mon, even I'm not that controversial. Men, take the time to listen. I know, I know...women have been telling you this for years, you haven't listened, and you seem to be doing okay. This is from the horses mouth, People! (i never liked that term...) I speak to your clients before you do. They want compassion, they want a friend, they want what they want.

I do see a down side to real estate being a female-driven business, though. As I sit through my class today, I hear the controversial questions being asked only by women. In addition to being nurturing and sociable, we can also be loud and obnoxious. (I say this as both a loud and obnoxious woman. Please don't take offense). We're not very good at keeping our mouths shut, and often dig ourselves into a proverbial grave because we just don't know when to shut up. That's not saying men are the Earth's response to loud-mouthed women. Unfortunately for us, a lot of times loud and obnoxious equals power for a man. For women, loud and obnoxious most often equates with nagging. My solution? Well, if you're an independent agent and you prefer to work alone, try to take some time to notice some qualities of successful people of the opposite gender around you. For those of you who prefer partners, or having a team, make the effort to mix up both the genders and the gender roles. I always find that the most successful teams/partnerships in the real estate business are those with a little gender variety. Regardless of gender, it's hard to work with someone who is similar to you. Similar work ethic, yes. Similar personality/reaction type, no. The whole point in giving into the group mentality of business isn't (get ready to be shocked) to cover more ground! The point is to offer your client all aspects of what they need. How many times have you heard partners say "She's the lister. I'm better with buyers?" I'm sure a lot. I'm sort of getting off the topic of real estate being a female-dominate business, but I feel it's all related. I also don't have much of an attention span.

The moral: Know your strengths! We all have them. We have to, or else we'd only have weakness and wouldn't be functioning as working professionals/mothers/fathers/daughters/brothers/friends...anything. Men, I know we're annoying, but listen to the females around you. There's a reason we're so damn good at real estate! Women, don't get cocky now that this is out in the open, and for god sake ladies, learn when to shut up.

The Crying Game

To say that humans are emotional creatures would be an understatement. We all have emotions. The only difference from person to person is that some of us hide them, and some of us share them. Buying or selling a home can be one of the most emotional endeavors in a person's life. We all acknowledge the stress factor of a real estate transaction, but do we really take the time to think about the emotional factor? On a personal note, I'm not an outright emotional person. (I didn't even cry during The Notebook.)It's hard for me to be around people who are emotional, and I would even go as far to say that it makes me uncomfortable to see someone visibly upset. In this business though, you need to put aside your own emotional boundaries, and develop a skill set that will allow you to comfort whoever you're dealing with.

Unfortunately, I receive a lot of phone calls from widows. At first, I was a bit thrown by the abundance of emotion involved in these conversations. While I'm used to people telling me about their various ailments, and medical procedures, (Remember: Jewish girl from Long Island. We LOVE to talk about ailments) I was not used to raw emotion, and I certainly wasn't used to it from complete strangers. One of the first people I ever spoke to regarding real estate was a widow named Andrea. From the beginning of our conversation all the way through the end, she was crying. Being a bit "green" in the area of truly emotional conversations, I continued on with asking the questions I needed answered to get her in touch with the right agent based solely on her real estate needs. I didn't even consider at this point that there was more to what I do than putting a price range and an area with someone that handles said price range and area. Not only did I insult her for not being more of an understanding ear, she decided to not use me or my agent. I realized, "Wow, this is my fault. I need to fix this" Am I saying to breakdown and pour your heart out to your perspective client? Definitely not. I'm saying that you have to soften yourself a bit in an emotional situation. Most people that I deal with on a daily basis are typical "Long Islanders." They're funny, a bit quirky, and want to get to the bottom line quickly while still having a quality conversation. It took me months (not years...it's not that hard of a concept) to develop this layer of myself that I like to call "foe-emotion." Because I am not naturally an outright emotional person, I need to fake it 'til I make it. It sounds simple, but for me, it wasn't. I had to learn to ask questions like "How long ago did your husband pass away?" and "Has it been very tough on you?" Not only did I have to learn to ask them, I had to have genuine responses such as "I'm so sorry to hear that," and "You poor thing" lined up. Again, simple, but do we all do it?

I'm very proud to say that I've now mastered the skill of talking to emotional people, and have even weeded through the agents I work with to know which ones are a good fit. Recently, I spoke to a woman who will remain nameless (her name is too uncommon for such a public forum). Let's call this woman "Mary." "Mary's" husband passed away two weeks prior to her picking up the phone and telling me that she wanted to sell her house, and move into an adult community. When I asked "Mary" what her motivation for moving was (hint, hint: ALWAYS find out motivation. It will save you immeasurable amounts of time), she broke down. She told me that her husband had built their home from the ground up, and that he suddenly passed away. After telling her how sorry I was for her loss, and finding out more information regarding her real estate AND emotional needs, I said "Mary, you've obviously had a rough two weeks. I'm going to do everything in my power to help make this process a happy one." She thanked me for my kind words, I told her an agent would be contacting her shortly and we hung up. Now, I'd venture to guess "Mary" did think much was going to happen after our conversation (most people don't), but after speaking to this clearly emotionally distraught woman, I knew I had to put her touch with someone who would only alleviate her pain, not make her feel rigid and uncomfortable. In addition to matching "Mary" with someone I felt (and, I was right) would become an excellent shoulder for her to lean on, I made sure I continuously checked in with her. Every time I would call her, I would say "Hi, Mary! It's Jess. How are you?" While all of my other clients I normally ask right away how their search is going, and if they enjoy working with my agent, I knew "Mary" wouldn't respond to that. I had to care about her first, and real estate second. Though "Mary" is still in limbo as to what she is going to do, she is in close contact with both myself and my agent. I also send her weekly e-mails just to say hi, and guess what...she always responds.

The moral: It's okay to let your guard down. As mentioned in a previous post, sometimes we have to turn off of the professionalism and turn up the personal. Will "Mary" ever buy/sell a home? Who knows. The point is that by letting my emotional wall come down a bit, I was able to ensure that should she decide to make a real estate transaction, she would trust me to help. Believe me when I tell you, if I can master the "foe-emotion," so can you. Think on it.

The Joke's On Who?

I'm a big believer in using humor to connect to someone. I've been told throughout my life "not everyone wants to joke around." I'm here to say that's simply not true. Maybe not everyone shares your sense of humor, but everyone loves to laugh. I can't even begin to count the amount of relationships I've built by using my sense of humor. Humor is what bonds people. If you can have a good laugh with someone, the initial tension (especially in real estate) is lifted. No one wants to work with a stiff. Loosen your tie, you'll suffocate.

I've made so many bad jokes, and as a result have had to learn how to A. Read people's humor, and B. Make fun of myself. If you can master the art of chameleon-izing (that's a new word I made up. Like it?) yourself to fit your (hopefully attentive) listening ear, you're golden. I wasn't always a real estate expert, you know. I waitressed throughout college and learned how to deal with, talk to, and most importantly, joke with all types of people. I urge you to use past experiences as a platform to bond with people. We've all had funny/embarrassing experiences - why not humanize yourself a bit? Steer away from being just an agent, or in my case, just a consultant. Show people that you're relate-able.

A fairly stupid example of humor helping me, is my experience with one person I spoke to who unfortunately decided not to sell (they did, however, meet with my agent and have agreed to use her if they ever do sell). After registering on one of the web sites I work off of, I called a man named Yvon. Now, when I called Yvon I automatically assumed it was a woman. Strike one. After saying "Hi, is Yvon available?" and hearing a deep voice on the other end say "this is he," I started to laugh. After a moment of awkward silence, he started to laugh, too. Our conversation from there flowed very easily until he said he was retired. I thought he said "I'm really tired." Strike two. Because I was actually tired, I said "you're preaching to the choir Yvon. I can't keep my eyes open today!" Another awkward silence, and then laughter on his end. He said "NO! I said I'm RETIRED." I then started to laugh and said "that doesn't change the fact that I'm really tired, Yvon!" Now, I'm sure some of you are reading this and saying "that's stupid." And you're right, it IS stupid. That's the point. By me making a stupid mistake and being able to laugh at it, I was able to create a relationship with someone I never have, and probably never will meet. Agents have quite the advantage over me. Agents get face time. If that can be done over the phone in a 15 minute conversation, imagine what can be done face-to-face. An interesting follow-up to this story: After I got off the phone with Yvon, I was told my conversation was unprofessional by someone I work with. Being yourself is never unprofessional. Use who you are to make connections, not what you are. I may be a licensed real estate agent, but more importantly, I'm Jess. I'm all I've got. A piece of paper and a 70-something hour course will not change who you are internally.

The moral: Using your personality is always professional. I'm not saying make bathroom jokes, and start calling people "Dude." I'm merely suggesting the idea of using your natural ability to change forms and personalize the experience of each person you come into contact with. To me, the term "colloquial" isn't necessary. I prefer "conversational." We all know when to turn up our professionalism a little bit, but do we know when to turn it down?