The Joke's On Who?

I'm a big believer in using humor to connect to someone. I've been told throughout my life "not everyone wants to joke around." I'm here to say that's simply not true. Maybe not everyone shares your sense of humor, but everyone loves to laugh. I can't even begin to count the amount of relationships I've built by using my sense of humor. Humor is what bonds people. If you can have a good laugh with someone, the initial tension (especially in real estate) is lifted. No one wants to work with a stiff. Loosen your tie, you'll suffocate.

I've made so many bad jokes, and as a result have had to learn how to A. Read people's humor, and B. Make fun of myself. If you can master the art of chameleon-izing (that's a new word I made up. Like it?) yourself to fit your (hopefully attentive) listening ear, you're golden. I wasn't always a real estate expert, you know. I waitressed throughout college and learned how to deal with, talk to, and most importantly, joke with all types of people. I urge you to use past experiences as a platform to bond with people. We've all had funny/embarrassing experiences - why not humanize yourself a bit? Steer away from being just an agent, or in my case, just a consultant. Show people that you're relate-able.

A fairly stupid example of humor helping me, is my experience with one person I spoke to who unfortunately decided not to sell (they did, however, meet with my agent and have agreed to use her if they ever do sell). After registering on one of the web sites I work off of, I called a man named Yvon. Now, when I called Yvon I automatically assumed it was a woman. Strike one. After saying "Hi, is Yvon available?" and hearing a deep voice on the other end say "this is he," I started to laugh. After a moment of awkward silence, he started to laugh, too. Our conversation from there flowed very easily until he said he was retired. I thought he said "I'm really tired." Strike two. Because I was actually tired, I said "you're preaching to the choir Yvon. I can't keep my eyes open today!" Another awkward silence, and then laughter on his end. He said "NO! I said I'm RETIRED." I then started to laugh and said "that doesn't change the fact that I'm really tired, Yvon!" Now, I'm sure some of you are reading this and saying "that's stupid." And you're right, it IS stupid. That's the point. By me making a stupid mistake and being able to laugh at it, I was able to create a relationship with someone I never have, and probably never will meet. Agents have quite the advantage over me. Agents get face time. If that can be done over the phone in a 15 minute conversation, imagine what can be done face-to-face. An interesting follow-up to this story: After I got off the phone with Yvon, I was told my conversation was unprofessional by someone I work with. Being yourself is never unprofessional. Use who you are to make connections, not what you are. I may be a licensed real estate agent, but more importantly, I'm Jess. I'm all I've got. A piece of paper and a 70-something hour course will not change who you are internally.

The moral: Using your personality is always professional. I'm not saying make bathroom jokes, and start calling people "Dude." I'm merely suggesting the idea of using your natural ability to change forms and personalize the experience of each person you come into contact with. To me, the term "colloquial" isn't necessary. I prefer "conversational." We all know when to turn up our professionalism a little bit, but do we know when to turn it down?