Be Here, Now.

I had a conversation with someone today about the idea that a "Real Estate Agent" is becoming a dying profession. I was quick to defend agents (as I always am), and then came up with counterpoints to my defenses before before they even came out of her mouth. Don't get me wrong, I think there's a special seat saved in heaven for every real estate professional out there. I know that the work we do is invaluable (although, the money's nice). I have to admit though, her points were pretty valid. I also have to admit, it scared me for a minute. However, being the optimist that I am, I decided to sit down and make a list of problem-solving techniques for each of her negative points.

The first argument was, of course, buyers/sellers/renters have access to the same information that we do. True. Anyone can go on a computer, log onto one of the million real estate-devoted web sites out there, and find out about a house. Depending on what web site they're on, they can probably find out the listing agent's name and info. Bottom line, we are undeniably on par with our clients when it comes to factual information on a house. What about history, though?( I'm saying this coming from a purchasing standpoint because sellers are a whole different ball game). Aside from driving by the house a few times over the past three years and seeing listing signs, they have no idea why 5 different real estate companies have held this listing and that the seller isn't negotiable. They also don't know that the house is three weeks away from going into pre-forclosure because the seller needed to sell two years ago and has rejected every offer that's come in (Of course, this is all hypothetical...or is it?). Another thing, and perhaps the most important thing, our clients only have access to information we put out there. I truly believe that a little mystery keeps a relationship alive. No need to over-share before really getting to know one another, right? Something I like to do (well, now suggest doing) is to list a house, regardless of how expensive/inexpensive it may be, at "price upon request." As a listing agent, the buyer MUST come to you to find out that information. It gives you back the upper-hand. As a buyer's agent, that "price upon request" will become factual information you have and your buyer doesn't. They will need you. A little mystery never hurt anyone. C'mon, People. Why buy the cow, if the milk is free?

The second argument she gave me kind of goes along with the first. She feels that (and please, ignore the morbidity in this statement) once the older generation of both agents and customers pass on, the younger generation will wipe out the need for a the client/agent relationship. To sort of piggy back off of my first point. Yes, the younger/computer-savvy customers are living in a "do it yourself" mindset. They're independent and smart, which is why they will come to find they just plain old don't have the time. There's a reason why being a "Real Estate Agent" is a profession. (shocker, right?) Real Estate, for most people, is a full-time, 'round-the-clock job. I don't know about you, but if I had to take on a full-time second job, I wouldn't be able. I'm questioned a lot by customer as to why they need an agent. I always answer the same way. I ask "Do you have a full-time job?" Hopefully, they say "yes." (I have answers for the "no's," but it's more of a why-the-hell-are-you-buying-a-house-now-you-need-to-save-your-money kind of answer) I then respond simply by asking "Do you want another one?" If you can find me someone who says "yes" to that and means it, I'll give you $100. The last thing someone wants to do, is spend their few and far between free moments sifting through hundreds of listing. I also make sure I explain to people how much inventory is out there right now. I did a search for a friend of mine today and came up with 240 listings. That was with having detailed search parameters. Because it's my JOB, I have no problem doing that. If it wasn't though, I'd get fed up real fast. My point: Yes, the younger generation certainly has a more fast-paced-we-want-it-now-attitude, but there is nothing fast-paced about searching through listings to find the perfect house. Most people are very excited when they first start their search and look through a million houses, but, by the second week of searching around and not really understanding what they're seeing, they call me. People think they don't need us until they try to do the work themselves.

The last point she made was that people can easily list their homes as FSBOs and save money. I get it, commission is expensive. You know what's even more expensive? Advertising. You know what's even more expensive than advertising? Using your own money to do it, and not building it into a sales price. I've brought up the point before that sellers really don't have a grasp on how to come up with a comparable market analysis. They are unaware of the different details that go into the equation to find accurate comps. Because we have this knowledge, we are able to build both our commission and advertising expenses into a sales price. Not to mention, a home gets much more exposure listed with a reputable real estate company than it does as a FSBO. Essentially, they end up spending less money by paying us a commission. Again, this also goes along with the idea of taking on a full-time second job. You don't just put a sign out in front of your house and collect a check. You need to take phone calls, have open houses, always be there when the house is being shown, market the property and directly hear all of the negative feedback. Something I think a lot of seller's don't see as an obstacle when listing their home as a FSBO, is how cruel people can be. When buyers walk into a house, they mostly point out what they don't like. We're in a market where they've seen everything. They know what they want, and they don't hesitant to point out what they don't. Sellers, these comments WILL offend you. You've put your heart and soul into your home. We recognize that it's your "home," but to us, it's just another "house." Why not have a non-emotionally attached middle-man intercept these critiques, and soften the blow a bit when the message is relayed to you? Your house is a disaster. You happy, now? Didn't think so.

The moral: Real Estate is not dead, dying, or even remotely ill. We have all of our shots, eat well and exercise. We are an ever-progressing, vital resource, and should recognize ourselves as such. These times may be changing, but we're riding shot gun.

A Quick Little Treat For Thursday

I thought everyone might enjoy this web site. I've had customers tell me where they want to live in relation to some of these places. It's usually far, far away!

Long Island Oddities


Enjoy!

Fair is Fair, Right?

Over the past two weeks, I've heard at least five people say some variation of the sentence "That's not P.C." Now believe me, I'm the first person to say everyone should be treated equally, and that everyone deserves equal rights, but are we going too far? Even sitting here writing down my personal thoughts on this issue (I know this is a public forum, but you get me when I say "personal"...right?), I have a pit in my stomach which I guarantee will be there until I feel I've successfully conveyed this idea without offending anyone. (How's that for a mission?) I feel like we're at a point, especially in the real estate business, that anything that comes out of anyone's mouth can be turned into some type of debate on political correctness. I understand the idea of staying neutral and not out-right voicing your political/personal opinions in business, but I never understood the logic in denying facts (ie. factual information on school statistics and population). I never felt it was necessary to tell people to "drive around an area" or to visit the local school web site. This is information that is the most important to a lot of people's searches. If I have the knowledge, why shouldn't I be able to share it in a tactful and "PC" way? I'm supposed to be the expert. Of course, I understand why things like steering and red-lining are illegal. It is certainly not our job to push someone into an area based on race/gender/sexual orientation, and our perceived opinion of said area. I also understand that it's not our job to say "Hey Jewish Person, this is a great Jewish area!" That's not what I'm talking about. Here's where "the line" gets blurred for me. (*please note, I ALWAYS follow the Fair Housing laws. These are just my opinions. So, all of you die-hard-everything-must-be-by-the-book people out there, calm down). The issue I have is that I really don't see a huge problem in telling a client what is considered a certain "type" of area if they ask (Key words: IF THEY ASK). If someone says "Oh, that's a predominately Catholic area, right?" and I know that it is, in fact, considered a predominately Catholic area, I think it's a bit excessive to say "by accordance with New York State law, I really can't disclose that information. Here are some great web sites." Why can't I say "From what I understand, yes." I'm not saying "Yes, 150%. If you're catholic, this is the place for you!" I'm merely informing my client that I've heard the area is predominately catholic. I think at that point, you should offer the suggestion of further investigating via the internet/local information sources. I don't think there's any need for you to be the one to elaborate on the issue, but I see no reason not at least be truthful and informative in a tactful way. To me, it's comparable to saying "what's that person like?" and you saying "I've heard she's very nice." It's merely an opinion that has gained some factual standing by means of consistency in other people's opinions. Could someone easily find out that information on their own? Sure. But again, we're supposed to be the experts! In the interest of saving time, and not pissing off your customer, why not just answer the damn question to the best of your knowledge? Real Estate is local, and I feel it's unfair to our clients to not answer questions we clearly have the answers to. I am by no means saying that I'm okay with a licensed real estate professional imparting their personal views on their clients. It is never okay for you to suggest an area based on a person's color, religion, or any other "defining characteristics." That's not your place. I just feel (again, I FEEL this way. I don't DO this. I respect my profession way too much to ever risk breaking a rule) that if we're asked about an area, we should be able to say "It's a great family area." I guess my issue is more along the line of at what point have we stifled ourselves too much? Believe me, I know these laws are out there solely to cover our own behinds, but I'm just questioning the excessive nature of it all.

This past week, I spoke to two buyers with two very different requests. However, due to the "law," I had to field said requests with the same type of vague answers/response questions. The first person I spoke to was explaining their search and told me they don't want to be in, and I quote "any minority neighborhoods." When I responded with "What areas would you like to be in?" They told me "One with no black people." (Nice, right? A side note to all of the buyers/sellers out there, we will never laugh with about racial issues. We think it's disgusting. Real estate professionals, for the most part, are open-minded, equal opportunity-seeking, people). On a lighter note, the second potential buyer told me that they wanted to be in a "great family area, with a great school district." My response "there are some great web sites to help you determine where you might want to be. I'd be more than happy to send them your way" I have no problem saying that to a buyer, but what is unfathomable to me, is that those two requests are supposed to be answered in the same type of way. Can we not allow ourselves for a minute to see the absurdity in this? A blatant racially-driven request should not have to be treated the same way as an innocent one. Now, I know some will say "well, that's a matter of opinion." Yes, you're right. That's my opinion. The "meat and potatoes" of what I do is "matching" a client with the best agent for their needs. If I know someone is family-oriented and interested in school districts, I will match them with someone similar. Is that going against Fair Housing laws, too? When do we take a step back and consider the idea that being politically correct (or, what we've all been taught is politically correct) has gone a little too far? If I can't facilitate a buyer by offering the knowledge I have of my market place, what good am I?

Do you know that casting directors can't request a certain race for any particular role. The example I was given when I learned this is, if Spike Lee were directing Malcolm X, he legally cannot request a black actor for the title role (for all of those who don't know who Malcolm X is, click the link. You'll soon understand the insanity in this). I'm sure some will argue that this is the right thing to do. I, however, just don't see it. Now, this is hardly related to real estate and the issues we deal with on a day to day basis, but it goes along with the idea that we're all slowly and surely becoming extremists. Are we going to stop asking people for financial statements at risk of offending someone that may have lost their job during these hard economic times? Really, People, where does it end?

Sadly, there is no great moral today (Grab a tissue, you'll be okay). There doesn't seem to be an end in sight, or any type of concrete answer, for that matter. Needless to say, (but I will anyway) this is a tricky issue, and it's sometimes easier to just follow the rules blindly instead of getting ourselves in trouble. We all come from different backgrounds, and no one's story is the same. This is why I think it's so hard to come up with a moral code for so many variations of people. We all have different opinions of what's right and what's wrong, and different knowledge to offer. I think the Fair Housing laws are really the only way to fully protect ourselves, but I guess I'm just saddened that they have to be drilled into our heads and that because of past mistakes, we're no longer trusted to make tactful decisions. Because of our inability to see "people" over anything else (be it, color/gender..whatever else you may see), we are now being boxed into a strict code of morals that don't allow for situational blunders. So I ask you this: If our code of ethics was no longer in place, would our professional standards fall apart?

Stop! Collaborate, and Listen.

Something that's really been driving me crazy lately, (I feel like Bill Maher...nothing like a "rant," and some good ole' fashioned finger-pointing) are buyers who low-ball, and sellers who over-price in this market. Plain and simple, it's the wrong time for that! Gone are the days of printing out your listings, throwing them over your shoulder, and whichever ones hit the ground created a bidding war. (Get it, what goes up, must come down. They all hit the ground...No? Eh, can't win 'em all) We're in, what I like to call, a "Happy Medium Market." Meaning, we all need to compromise. I think we can all agree that in the current state of our respective markets (Remember, we have one economy, but millions of markets. My business in Merrick, isn't the same as yours in Rocky Point), we are truly trying to encourage our sellers to list as close to true market value as possible and trying to educate our buyers that that's what (most of) our sellers are doing. Is it not fair to say that right now, if you don't have to sell, you probably shouldn't? That, or you own your house out-right, and because you bought it in 1940 for $12, are going to make a profit regardless of the current market prices. I'm sure some will argue that it's all relative. While you may not gross millions on your house, you'll end up getting a "good deal" on the purchasing end; All well and good. I don't necessarily disagree with that logic. What I do disagree with, is the idea of listing your house at a "cross your fingers and hope price," and then expecting to sell quick to take advantage of the buyer's market. It's selfish, and you're wasting everyone's time. What's the number one reason buyers feel they can get "deals" right now? Inventory. By us holding on to listings just for the sake of having a listing, we are adding to the problem. The reason prices keep dropping (and according to Jonathan Miller of Miller-Samuel, the only reliable source as far I know, they're going to drop an additional 10%-15%), is because we A. Keep adding on listings (which if you know you can sell it, good for you. Otherwise, spare us.) B. We're in a short sale/foreclosure-driven market, and C. Every time a bigger and better house comes on, we have to drop our prices to stay above water at all. You may have a million listings, but how many can you actually sell?

I had a woman call in about three weeks ago who was looking to list her house in The Hamptons. The house most recently appraised for around 1.3Mil. Our conversation went well, I had one of my agents go over to view her home, and she agreed to sign the exclusive. Yay for us, right? Wrong. As it turns out, she owed significantly more on the house than it's worth (How many times have you heard that in the past year?). She wanted to price it around 1.8MIl, and quite frankly, it would never sell. In situations like this, I urge my agent to walk away. We politely bowed out, and (I thought) moved on. I received an e-mail today saying "Great news! I think we may still have the listing." My first thought was "Great, they've figured out their finances and can list at market value." So, I respond to the e-mail inquiring further on price/terms etc. only to find out that we're still at 1.8Mil. I had to catch a train (yes, I commute everyday. You're welcome, Long Island), so this issue is yet to be resolved. That being said, first thing tomorrow morning she will once again be encouraged to walk away.

I want to be part of the solution, People. Not the problem. Just as I urge the people (buyers/sellers/agents) I work with, I'm urging you - Stop the madness! Take a minute to really look at what's going on around you. Why would you list a home, market it, show it and know you ultimately, can't sell it? On the other end, why would you encourage a buyer to make an offer that you know won't be accepted, or at least negotiated? Think about it, the economy is driven by the real estate market. We, as agents/brokers/consultants/managers are directly linked to the happenings of our economic world. Why would you want to do anything to A. Drive sales down, and B. Make yourself look like you're not an expert? Our clients, for the most part, are at a stand still. They have no idea which way is up. While they may be internet savvy and can tell you the address of every house currently for sale, and the minimum commission of every company, they truly don't know market values. How can they? They may know what their neighbor's house sold for, but as we all know, their neighbor's house has an extra bedroom, permits for a pool in place and a better-manicured lawn. The one thing our clients still don't have (and hopefully never will) is the knowledge to produce accurate comparable. Any good agent knows, "comps" are the key to success on both the selling and buying side of your business. How many of you pull up comps of surrounding homes when your buyer's getting ready to make an offer? I'd venture to guess, most of you don't. Why not, though? How can you truly assess what a reasonable offer is, without know the "sold" market around you?

The moral: ( So sad. Time to stop. I write my blogs on the train, People. Once the train hits the station, you lose me 'til tomorrow.) Don't be selfish! What a ridiculous notion. You've been told since birth to share and not be greedy. If you've never implemented these basic actions into your every day life, now's the time to start. Better yet, be selfish. Only take on clients you know you can make money off of. (See what I did there? I taught all of you selfish people a way to appear not selfish. You're welcome.) Really though, wouldn't you rather actually close deals than have the "privilege" of saying you have 214 listings? You can't buy shoes with a listing, and I'm a girl who loves me some shoes.

It's Not You, It's Me.

I've found myself thinking a lot lately about What I can change vs. What I can't change in my life. You can't change your family. They will haunt you no matter how far-removed you are. Biologically, you're linked to them by blood despite how many times you change your phone number. You can't change your past. What's done is done. If you're alive, good for you. That means you've survived, so far. Most importantly, you can't change other people. This is something I think most of us struggle with all of our lives. Whether we're trying to change our partners, our friends or our family, we are always unhappy with something about someone. On a personal note, I'm currently faced with a situation in which I wish more than anything, that the person I'm at odds with will change. I struggle on a daily basis to think of ways to help them understand that it's not me, it's them. After months of deliberating and plotting, I've finally come to understand that it is, in fact, me. Let's talk cheesy for a second, okay? You know that ridiculous saying "Be the change you want to see in the world?" Well, I think, like most cliches, there's something to it. I can't make anyone do anything, and I certainly don't possess the ability to make someone change who they are for my benefit. (If you have this ability, please call me. Boy, do I have a project for you!) I am only in control of myself.

I'm going to give an example of my current adversity, while trying to maintain anonymity throughout (Good luck to me, right?) I received an e-mail last week with some not-so-kind words. This e-mail was between myself and two other people. Being the semi-cut throat person that I am, my initial reaction was to respond in the same tone in which the first e-mail was sent. After typing up my response, and reading it through, I started to get butterflies in my stomach out of nerves as to what the response back would be (My bark is usually worse than my bite). I took a step back, and took a minute to think out the few scenarios that could play out by me sending my nasty response. The best case scenario is that the person who sent the initial e-mail would feel like an idiot, and fear me. We all love a good power trip. The worst, I would be stuck in a back and forth, World War III-esq e-mail battle for the next few hours. I thought to myself, if the best and worst case scenarios are equally as crappy, who's winning? And, even further, why does someone always feel the need to win? In life, we're driven to end up on the top of any argument we face. I ask you though, at who's expense? We may not care what out "opponent" feels like at the end of the day, but if it affects how we feel, something in us needs to change. For the first time in a long time, I kept my mouth shut. I let the situation play out on its own and didn't provoke/support/oppose any side. Guess what? I went home battle scar-free.

I've had the honor of working with some really amazing people in my career so far, and I can tell you, the most successful ones know what not to say and when not to say it. I admit, I have not yet fully mastered this skill. It is in my nature to be on the defense. As I get older and grow more successful in my business, I'm starting to understand that not everything needs to turn into an issue. Someone does something you don't like? You find someone or something offensive? Let it go. As my mother always says (seriously, if I didn't know better, I would say she invented this oh-so-common saying) "what goes around comes around." Translation, they'll get theirs. Wouldn't you prefer to "win" at the hands of the universe spitting on your opponent, as opposed to you fighting an uphill battle that's most likely just prolonging the inevitable?

The moral: Ah yes, my wise words of wisdom are coming to an end for the day. I've got people to see, food to eat, and TV to watch. Right, the moral...Pick your battles. I don't want anyone to think I'm saying to let everything go, because I myself am incapable of doing that. If someone gets in your way, and your new-found attitude of passivity isn't working, by all means - knock them down. However, if you take a minute during an argument to say to yourself "Jess, don't send that e-mail," you might find that you saved yourself from some heartache. Everyone just wants to be happy (well, I know I do). If you can change something in yourself to further increase the amount of times a day you're able to truly smile, why wouldn't you?

It's a Woman's World

Did you know that more than 60% of accredited REALTORS are women? From a business that started out like most other businesses, male-dominated, real estate has turned into this great professional for women to be in charge. Why is that, though? What is it about the real estate business that A. Makes a woman (in my opinion) a bit more savvy? and B. Makes our clients more inclined to work with a female? Now, I'm not saying there aren't great male agents, because believe me, I work with some brilliant men. I'm merely questioning what it is about real estate that lends itself so nicely to a woman's nature. Today, I'm sitting in a continuing education class (even if you're the best real estate professional in the world, always continue to learn. I promise, there are things you don't know) and majority of the class is women. Could the abundance of women have something to do with the fact that women are, by nature, more nurturing and understanding? Or, perhaps viewed as more sociable? I think so. Now again, I'm not saying men don't possess the ability to be both nurturing and sociable, but I do truly believe it comes a bit easier to women. It's the whole child-bearing thing, we're bred to be hand-holders. That being said, not everyone needs/wants a "hand-holder," but it goes back to the idea of actually liking who you work with. Unless you're an investor, real estate is (as previously mentioned) an emotionally-driven business.

I can't even begin to count (numbers aren't my thing) how many times I've had someone I'm speaking with request a female agent. I have to admit, when a man requests a female agent, I always feel inclined to ask why (there have been one too many crimes against female real estate agents not to). The answer that 99.9% of people give me (again, investors aside. Most investors prefer men. I think it has something to do with the bond they develop over the actual architecture of a building. Something I, as a woman, have no interest in) is comfort. They think a woman will take the time to truly listen to what they need as opposed to showing them things that don't fit their requirements. Also, men (and women, too...but you knew that already) have told me that because real estate can be so emotional, they feel they will be able to let their guard down more with a female agent. The other .01% openly admit to the prospect of getting a date, but what can you do?

So what does this mean for the men out there who don't possess the qualities to put people at ease? Get a sex change, or take estrogen? No. C'mon, even I'm not that controversial. Men, take the time to listen. I know, I know...women have been telling you this for years, you haven't listened, and you seem to be doing okay. This is from the horses mouth, People! (i never liked that term...) I speak to your clients before you do. They want compassion, they want a friend, they want what they want.

I do see a down side to real estate being a female-driven business, though. As I sit through my class today, I hear the controversial questions being asked only by women. In addition to being nurturing and sociable, we can also be loud and obnoxious. (I say this as both a loud and obnoxious woman. Please don't take offense). We're not very good at keeping our mouths shut, and often dig ourselves into a proverbial grave because we just don't know when to shut up. That's not saying men are the Earth's response to loud-mouthed women. Unfortunately for us, a lot of times loud and obnoxious equals power for a man. For women, loud and obnoxious most often equates with nagging. My solution? Well, if you're an independent agent and you prefer to work alone, try to take some time to notice some qualities of successful people of the opposite gender around you. For those of you who prefer partners, or having a team, make the effort to mix up both the genders and the gender roles. I always find that the most successful teams/partnerships in the real estate business are those with a little gender variety. Regardless of gender, it's hard to work with someone who is similar to you. Similar work ethic, yes. Similar personality/reaction type, no. The whole point in giving into the group mentality of business isn't (get ready to be shocked) to cover more ground! The point is to offer your client all aspects of what they need. How many times have you heard partners say "She's the lister. I'm better with buyers?" I'm sure a lot. I'm sort of getting off the topic of real estate being a female-dominate business, but I feel it's all related. I also don't have much of an attention span.

The moral: Know your strengths! We all have them. We have to, or else we'd only have weakness and wouldn't be functioning as working professionals/mothers/fathers/daughters/brothers/friends...anything. Men, I know we're annoying, but listen to the females around you. There's a reason we're so damn good at real estate! Women, don't get cocky now that this is out in the open, and for god sake ladies, learn when to shut up.

The Crying Game

To say that humans are emotional creatures would be an understatement. We all have emotions. The only difference from person to person is that some of us hide them, and some of us share them. Buying or selling a home can be one of the most emotional endeavors in a person's life. We all acknowledge the stress factor of a real estate transaction, but do we really take the time to think about the emotional factor? On a personal note, I'm not an outright emotional person. (I didn't even cry during The Notebook.)It's hard for me to be around people who are emotional, and I would even go as far to say that it makes me uncomfortable to see someone visibly upset. In this business though, you need to put aside your own emotional boundaries, and develop a skill set that will allow you to comfort whoever you're dealing with.

Unfortunately, I receive a lot of phone calls from widows. At first, I was a bit thrown by the abundance of emotion involved in these conversations. While I'm used to people telling me about their various ailments, and medical procedures, (Remember: Jewish girl from Long Island. We LOVE to talk about ailments) I was not used to raw emotion, and I certainly wasn't used to it from complete strangers. One of the first people I ever spoke to regarding real estate was a widow named Andrea. From the beginning of our conversation all the way through the end, she was crying. Being a bit "green" in the area of truly emotional conversations, I continued on with asking the questions I needed answered to get her in touch with the right agent based solely on her real estate needs. I didn't even consider at this point that there was more to what I do than putting a price range and an area with someone that handles said price range and area. Not only did I insult her for not being more of an understanding ear, she decided to not use me or my agent. I realized, "Wow, this is my fault. I need to fix this" Am I saying to breakdown and pour your heart out to your perspective client? Definitely not. I'm saying that you have to soften yourself a bit in an emotional situation. Most people that I deal with on a daily basis are typical "Long Islanders." They're funny, a bit quirky, and want to get to the bottom line quickly while still having a quality conversation. It took me months (not years...it's not that hard of a concept) to develop this layer of myself that I like to call "foe-emotion." Because I am not naturally an outright emotional person, I need to fake it 'til I make it. It sounds simple, but for me, it wasn't. I had to learn to ask questions like "How long ago did your husband pass away?" and "Has it been very tough on you?" Not only did I have to learn to ask them, I had to have genuine responses such as "I'm so sorry to hear that," and "You poor thing" lined up. Again, simple, but do we all do it?

I'm very proud to say that I've now mastered the skill of talking to emotional people, and have even weeded through the agents I work with to know which ones are a good fit. Recently, I spoke to a woman who will remain nameless (her name is too uncommon for such a public forum). Let's call this woman "Mary." "Mary's" husband passed away two weeks prior to her picking up the phone and telling me that she wanted to sell her house, and move into an adult community. When I asked "Mary" what her motivation for moving was (hint, hint: ALWAYS find out motivation. It will save you immeasurable amounts of time), she broke down. She told me that her husband had built their home from the ground up, and that he suddenly passed away. After telling her how sorry I was for her loss, and finding out more information regarding her real estate AND emotional needs, I said "Mary, you've obviously had a rough two weeks. I'm going to do everything in my power to help make this process a happy one." She thanked me for my kind words, I told her an agent would be contacting her shortly and we hung up. Now, I'd venture to guess "Mary" did think much was going to happen after our conversation (most people don't), but after speaking to this clearly emotionally distraught woman, I knew I had to put her touch with someone who would only alleviate her pain, not make her feel rigid and uncomfortable. In addition to matching "Mary" with someone I felt (and, I was right) would become an excellent shoulder for her to lean on, I made sure I continuously checked in with her. Every time I would call her, I would say "Hi, Mary! It's Jess. How are you?" While all of my other clients I normally ask right away how their search is going, and if they enjoy working with my agent, I knew "Mary" wouldn't respond to that. I had to care about her first, and real estate second. Though "Mary" is still in limbo as to what she is going to do, she is in close contact with both myself and my agent. I also send her weekly e-mails just to say hi, and guess what...she always responds.

The moral: It's okay to let your guard down. As mentioned in a previous post, sometimes we have to turn off of the professionalism and turn up the personal. Will "Mary" ever buy/sell a home? Who knows. The point is that by letting my emotional wall come down a bit, I was able to ensure that should she decide to make a real estate transaction, she would trust me to help. Believe me when I tell you, if I can master the "foe-emotion," so can you. Think on it.

The Joke's On Who?

I'm a big believer in using humor to connect to someone. I've been told throughout my life "not everyone wants to joke around." I'm here to say that's simply not true. Maybe not everyone shares your sense of humor, but everyone loves to laugh. I can't even begin to count the amount of relationships I've built by using my sense of humor. Humor is what bonds people. If you can have a good laugh with someone, the initial tension (especially in real estate) is lifted. No one wants to work with a stiff. Loosen your tie, you'll suffocate.

I've made so many bad jokes, and as a result have had to learn how to A. Read people's humor, and B. Make fun of myself. If you can master the art of chameleon-izing (that's a new word I made up. Like it?) yourself to fit your (hopefully attentive) listening ear, you're golden. I wasn't always a real estate expert, you know. I waitressed throughout college and learned how to deal with, talk to, and most importantly, joke with all types of people. I urge you to use past experiences as a platform to bond with people. We've all had funny/embarrassing experiences - why not humanize yourself a bit? Steer away from being just an agent, or in my case, just a consultant. Show people that you're relate-able.

A fairly stupid example of humor helping me, is my experience with one person I spoke to who unfortunately decided not to sell (they did, however, meet with my agent and have agreed to use her if they ever do sell). After registering on one of the web sites I work off of, I called a man named Yvon. Now, when I called Yvon I automatically assumed it was a woman. Strike one. After saying "Hi, is Yvon available?" and hearing a deep voice on the other end say "this is he," I started to laugh. After a moment of awkward silence, he started to laugh, too. Our conversation from there flowed very easily until he said he was retired. I thought he said "I'm really tired." Strike two. Because I was actually tired, I said "you're preaching to the choir Yvon. I can't keep my eyes open today!" Another awkward silence, and then laughter on his end. He said "NO! I said I'm RETIRED." I then started to laugh and said "that doesn't change the fact that I'm really tired, Yvon!" Now, I'm sure some of you are reading this and saying "that's stupid." And you're right, it IS stupid. That's the point. By me making a stupid mistake and being able to laugh at it, I was able to create a relationship with someone I never have, and probably never will meet. Agents have quite the advantage over me. Agents get face time. If that can be done over the phone in a 15 minute conversation, imagine what can be done face-to-face. An interesting follow-up to this story: After I got off the phone with Yvon, I was told my conversation was unprofessional by someone I work with. Being yourself is never unprofessional. Use who you are to make connections, not what you are. I may be a licensed real estate agent, but more importantly, I'm Jess. I'm all I've got. A piece of paper and a 70-something hour course will not change who you are internally.

The moral: Using your personality is always professional. I'm not saying make bathroom jokes, and start calling people "Dude." I'm merely suggesting the idea of using your natural ability to change forms and personalize the experience of each person you come into contact with. To me, the term "colloquial" isn't necessary. I prefer "conversational." We all know when to turn up our professionalism a little bit, but do we know when to turn it down?

Reach Out and Touch Base

We've all had them. We've all complained about them. Yes, I'm talking about the customer who forever prolongs their search and makes seemingly empty promises of "listing soon." I often run into situations like this, and the answer is simple: STAY IN TOUCH. The story I'm about to tell is proof that sticking with people (again, loyalty...what a concept) pays off.

About 8 months ago, I referred out someone who was looking to sell their home on the south shore of Nassau County and purchase on the north shore of Suffolk County. As we all know (well, maybe you don't. You could be in Kentucky for all I know), these are two very different areas and to find an agent that covers both, well, that's just crazy. Call me crazy, I found one. Within hours the potential buyer/seller and my agent were in communication and making plans to meet the following Saturday. So far, so good. Being the optimist I am, I sent back my generic "Thanks for the update, So and so! Keep up the great work!" Low and behold, they meet and are instantly in love with one another. Can you imagine, a nice, Jewish girl from Long Island has the ability to match-make for real estate? Who would have thought (Please, laugh at this...my cultural background and gender make me the ideal matchmaker. It's funny. get it? Haha? No? You'll get used to me) Words like "lovely" and sentences like "we've forged a nice relationship" are being thrown around. At this point in any match, I'm thrilled. Things like this are music to my ears. Weeks pass with updates from my agents saying "they're going to list soon" and "any day now!" I'm starting to wonder, "what the hell's going on?" These people who were so desperate to get out of their small, starter home and move to a big beautiful new one, are skirting around listing. This went on for months. Their kid was sick, they took a vacation, their kid was sick again, they had to attend the president's ball at the white house, they were called away on secret spy business for the military. (Fine, the last two are bs)...You get the point though, every week was something else. I had lost all hope. First we were looking to list the first week of November, November became December and December became January which brought us to February. At this point, I openly admit that I probably would have given up. Not my agent. She stayed on these people like white on rice. She wasn't letting them get away so easily. For lack of a better term, she stalked these people until she was considered part of their family. Her stalking paid off. 6 months and 23 days later, she listed the property. Not only did she list the property, she put it into contract within a week and a half of listing it. In addition, she found them a house to buy and got THAT into contract the same week. Needless to say, the seller was thrilled and so was I. Here I thought this was a dead issue, and all of a sudden, we have not one, but two deals signed, sealed and delivered. Both deals are expected to close next month.

The moral. Ah yes, there's always a moral. Stick to your clients as closely as your stick to your gut. Your gut is always right. Not only will people appreciate you staying with them through months and months of white house benefits and militia endeavors, they will come to you first when the time is right.

Buyers Are Liars: The Myth To End All Myths?

So we've all heard it, "buyers are liars." A bit harsh of a generalization don't you think? Well, I'll be honest, I'm on the fence with this one. Let's use another cliché while we're at it, "talk is cheap." Is it not fair to say that anyone can talk the talk, but once actually called to action, most fall apart at the seams? Let's forget real estate for a minute (I know, how horrifying?), in your own life, have you not managed to drop the ball on something that is seemingly easy? Let's face it, we all have. The simple idea of calling someone back when your back hurts and Dexter is on suddenly becomes not so simple. Life sometimes gets in the way.

Something I experience on a day-to-day basis is the "Dead on Arrival" buyer, and oddly enough, the occasional seller. Meaning, they flat out don't call you back. Ever. I always ask myself, why does this happen? Are buyers truly liars? Or, are we not making ourselves seem important enough to call back? I think I've finally come to the conclusion that yes, some buyers are definitely liars. They say what they need to say to get what they want (don't we all?) That being said, I think we often forget outside factors. In the real estate business, we often hear one side of a story. While I can talk to a potential buyer who says they have 20% down, needs to move ASAP and a budget of $1,000,000, that same buyer can go back to their spouse/parent/partner/friend/dog and they can say "well, what'd you talk to them for?" or, even better "I already spoke to someone else." I think even more important to remember is what I like to call "The Embarrassment Factor." What's more embarrassing than spilling your guts out to someone, and once the conversation ends, realize you can't actually act on anything you just said? Nothing. People have egos, and often times, want to avoid the personal connection with someone. This is why, I feel, a lot of people end up working on a listing to listing basis. They understand the listing agent is working for the seller, and that's the way they want it.

Another important thing to remember is that most of these people out there right now are just looking. In addition to the ever-beloved "nosey neighbor" you now have the "window shopper." The "window shopper" is a bread that is spreading like wild-fire. Because it's quote unquote "the time to buy," everyone and their mother is looking. Key word: LOOKING. Will they buy something at some point in their lifetime? Probably - most people do. However, right now, they want confirmation of the market. They want to know what's out there, and want to be able to say to their friends "I saw that house, and it's not worth X amount of dollars." Unfortunately, we have a lot of negativity out there. People are constantly trying to prove the market wrong. It may be the time to buy, but these buyers will low-ball the hell out of any home they come across. If said low-ball isn't good enough, they will move on to the next house, and the next house and so on, and so forth. We are in the market of finicky buyers. Given the abundance of inventory, they are looking for "the perfect home." If you can't find it for them, they feel someone else can...and so the story goes. Unfortunately, most buyers don't realize that loyalty gets you everywhere in real estate (To the few that do, Bless your hearts). They also don't realize the reach most agents have. Because we are now working in an age of ever-progressing-one-upping-the-last-cool-thing technology, we have more information than ever. If you are a good agent, you now know you have the ability to show anyone, anything. The days of exclusivity and private listings are on their way out. Buyers only become liars when agents don't stand out. You want loyalty? You want great buyers? Make yourself worth their time. Show these people the necessity of having you as their agent. I could go on, and on about why standing out is important and how you're your own brand, but we all get that. We've all heard it for years. Seriously though, the more important you make yourself to someone, the more loyal they will be. It's the most simple rule in the book.

So I ask you to consider this: Buyers may lie, but is it your own fault?